try me!

tomorrow marks our first month into residency...funny how it feels like we've been here a long time when in fact....30 days palang pala....pero sa pakiramdam parang 30 years. hahahaha.

in the past 30 days, para akong rumollercoaster sa dami ng emosyong nadaanan....masaya, malungkot, takot, kaba, kabaliwan. madalas gusto ko nalang sumigaw. maraming beses pinipigil kong umiyak. sa umaga lagi akong nasusuka. kapag duty ako parang lagi akong kinakabahan. walang araw na hindi ako nagdadasal ng saklolo. pero pagdating ng gabi at natapos ko ang araw lagi naman akong natutuwa....na andito ako.

i feel so crazy with this constant fluctuation of emotions. so many things to do. so many things to think about. so many things to study. then I remember that this is the road I chose...mula sa maraming maraming ibang road na mukhang magaganda....and so after each kalugmukan I stand up on shaky legs and take that step....with a looooooot of help from my friends and from the guy up there.

to the next 12 months.....BRING IT ON!

ctrl. alt.delete.

was s/p trolling around the pay floors writing and writing like there's no tomorrow. when suddenly had to update the Olympians regarding the status of his patient. was post duty with a lot of admissions and referrals. start ako ng text Good am ____ Informing you regarding _____ pt currently signed a ......*brain not functioning...ano nga ba ang tawag sa nilalagdaan na magbabayad ka naman in English*

so I ran to the oasis aka callroom  at napabulalas ako ng...

BOTD: guys!....ano nga ba ang spelling ng promissory note? double M?

Chicken Charlie: Double S! diba promis-sory! double S!

Yanyan Meiji Choco Sticks: Hindi!  Double M!

Pa-VirJ: ndi ba double S?

BOTD: Hindi ba double R????

ALL: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

sheeeeesh. double frickin R! ahahaha. my mind really does shut down in times of extreme stress. lately, I am in a new environment. kung dati ay nasa shore with the dagat ng basura ay ngayon nasa may bundok with the ulap ulap effect...I guess this rotation was highly endorsed as a scary rotation and so I find myself most of the time paralyzed with fear to the point of shutdown. actually mula sa simula ganun na ata ang nangyayari sa akin pagka hindi ko alam ang gagawin. *must work hard to make myself get rid of this!*

pero ika nga nila...baby steps. one step at a time. simula pa lang naman. don't be too hard on yourself ang theme. pero kelangan wag masyadong umabot ang stress to the point of....amnesia! ahahahaha.

excited for moooore learning and less overthinking! and for more katatawanan blogworthy experiences. hehehehehehehe.