Favorable odds...

palpitations. sleeping disorders. spontaneous combustion into tears. inappropriate affect. pure and utter terror. cramming galore.



it is time for pre whooooadith syndrome. That time when you wish you never heard the 5 words that sealed your fate....aka the reaping/harvest......this patient is for whooooooooadith!

An influx of emotions flood you but the most bothersome of all is the thought that....tatayo ako sa gitna at iaalay sa madla!!!!!!! To be ripped apart to pieces. To be eaten alive by the vultures. To be stoned till you are left with nothing....


Ok OA naman yun ahahahahaha. As the days pass dread is replaced by panic then replaced by fear then replaced by indifference until you are there on a Thursday morning standing at the new venue at the ERC with moooooore seats and moooooore lighting. Then the hour passes by like a blur and all you remember are people coaching you in their seats while you zone out and nanette in public and saying the words thank you! Sorry! I was wrong! it's my fault! Ako na ako ako na ang may kasalanan. Noted po. Thank you.


Then just like that the whoooooadith is done. And no one remembers the crazinesss but you. Glad it's overrrrrrr. Hahahahaha.

Sit back....enjoy....be the movie! Hahaha

had a very eventful movie watching experience with my batchmates thyroid storm, tibakers, babae sa lamp-post/BSL, and pweters just this month. just a small backgrounder, one thing i love most about them is the fact that we will never ever ever EVER have zero comments. ahahahahaha. while watching this patok movie about adultery we forgot we were not at the callroom but at the sinehan portion.

in short ang tema ng movie ay....
opening credits
1st step of bonggang bonggang bida:

BOTD: OMG ano ba yang pantalon nya!
BSL: OMG ang tabaaaa
Pweters: oooh this is so hapit portion
Tibakers: i-explain ang ibig sabihin ng ganitong pantalon
Thyroid Storm: WTH?!?

enter bonggang bonggang leading lady:

BOTD: OMY that damit is making her fattina may!
BSL: what is that TOP!!!!!
Pweters: in fair maganda ang kutis ng lola mo!
Tibakers: kelangan maglandian portion sa tapat talaga ng bookshelf
Thyroid Storm: hahahahahahaha.

so imagine 1 hr and how many minutes into the movie sineskwela na ang tema namin....

BOTD: oooh look at that caaave
BSL: oooh it's nice
Pweters: gandaaaaaa
Tibakers: sino naman ang nagpupunta dyan
Thyroid Storm (who is actually from the area): talagang may ganyan, may tour guide...chenes chenes chenes....

when suddenly we were interrupted by a shout from the audience who got tired of our live podcast complete with reviews and reactions....in REAL TIME! ahahahaha. ang ginawa niya......ireserve nalang natin sa actual storytelling for more drama.

let's just say hindi niya type ang aming assessment and plan. at balak niya kaming ipag-stand in the corner.at kung tinatranscribe ang sinabi nya.....wingdings ang tema ng font!

ang conclusion....pagtapos ng movie....may podcast ulit ang lahat ng tao sa sinehan tungkol sa kung anong eksena ang tipping point nitong ating anonymous protester who we shall never name.

as for us...halos maglaughter yoga kami palabas hanggang 3 kalyes after.sabi nga ni tibakers...this will go down in history!


...as the craziest movie watching experience to date.... Hahaha!

spiderman.

Just came from an uber alta wedding of my friend who happens to be htgof's cousin for more friendster/6 degrees of separation!!!!!!

It's quite funny/sad to note that high school really does have some weird impact on self esteem. That seeing all my alta classmates made me feel as if i were in the 4 halls of our old alta alma mater making tusok the fishballs. And even if we were all grown up you sometimes feel that you were still that small outsider who was given a glimpse of how altas live their lives hahaha.


Hay ang jinarts. Can' t stand it. On to more fun things like people watching!!!!

Htgof and I missed smoketh and safm dahil kung nandoon kayo maybe smoketh found more boys! And safm ate tons if fiod whichi were really good and of course we had the best time making crazy commentaries and marveling on how small the world is dahil ang pinsan ni ganito ay kaklase ni ganyan sa high school na senior mo ngayon na asawa ng brod mo na teacher mo nung high school. Gets mo? I got lost somewhere in the middle ahahahaha.

Glad to be out of the shore sometimes and see that despite the fact that we think the world is a big place.....connected ang lahat sa isa't isa...via some weird link in some .....



at natoxic na ako bilang duty kagabi and I cannot remember what to put in pure post-duty ness. i guess it was supposed to be something profound buth it did not save itself kagabi. so I'll just end this bloggeth in this manner. for more...open-endedness and flight of ideas ahahahahaha.

Autumn in .....

The -ber months have come and it only means one thing.....sumi-circle of life naaaaaa! In short, tapos na ang orals, research and now we welcome the new fish in fishville/insaniquarium. Haha. Hello Pre-res! Everyone couldn't help but reminisce about their "time" when you were evaluated like a housemate in PBB and ang theme ay pickme.chooseme.acceptme. Hahaha.

A year has passed by so fast i sometimes feel whiplash. Ahooooy. Dumeedeep. Mahirap pala magblog from the ipad. Hahahaha. Dont know what to do with all this time. Aside from hanging out with my crazy batchmates who have been my lifeline in this crazy tiiiiiime. Haha.

And then naalala ko shooooot. I still have audit.







Booooooooo.

bedrock.

tomorrow I go back to the shore after 8 days of  introspection, running, shopping, muni muni, worship, prayer, sightseeing....all in the land of Singapore and of course home. hahahaha. of course tuloy tuloy ang pagjijinarts hanggang pag-uwi for more.ubos din ang budget sa kakasaya sayahan.

 i'm so happy na may ganitong time in our lives...a time to go back to yourself and remind yourself why you're doing what you're doing. in fairlaloo natuwa naman ako sa sandamukal na realizations ko while staring into space sa mrt, gazing at plants with hitik na hitik na bulaklak while taking lots and lots of peekchurs and at the same time being in awe of the fact na kahit mainit at pinagpapawisan ka...hindi ka nagkakalibag or nagiging dugyot.hahahaha.

while it was fun to be in an ideal place, I now know where my true home lies. ahooooy. ahahahaha. ume-eat pray love!!!!!! i hope that as i go back to the craziness i retain that happiness i regained while i was away. nawa'y hindi na lumabas or mabawasan ang paglabas ng crazy alter ego ko. AHAHAHAHAHAHA.


for moooooore. i thank the new people who I met in this trip and Ate Smoketh who I was able to PO to go with me.


 now the real fun begins.




 I'm back.

MAYhem...

I just woke up after being asleep for 12 hours straight. my body tells me "yahoo nakatulog ka finally after 6 months!"  my mind tells me "sayang ang post duty day motherrrrr!!!! dapat nagawa mo na ang 3 case reports, mortality census, chorchorhchorchoooooor"....and the list continues.

then I realized it is suddenly may....at kalahati na ng taon. after 6 months, countless duty days, many many many admissions, crazy wapod duties which make you wish you were in another world, and countless times you were on the EDGE! (of quitting!)...wala lang. ganoon pa din. no mind boggling or heart wrenching or life altering revelations in our lives. just our same old nega selves who hate walk ins without blood or ppl who have no sense of urgency. AHAHAHAHA. dati iniisip ko nung december pagka magjujune na ok na kami siguro lahat. 

well, I guess ok naman kaming lahat. YMCS has learned that God will never give you anything you can't handle. A far cry from her previous WoW (aka Words of Wisdom) which is..."hindi natin masasabi....*insert long siiiiiiiiiigggggh*). our batch has learned the pure and utter greatness and being afforded by the callroom. where you can rant and shout and SING and DANCE out loud to regain your sanity before you go out to the world of the wards or to the upper floors of pay imbey! how youtube videos never fail to make you smile or make you cry for more! the power of pointless it's so cheesy talaga movies! the uniting power of american idol! ahahaha. parang lahat ng batches nanonood at SAFM ...it is true nung lumabas ang balitang talo si jessica sanchez there was a minimal buzz sa audit.... and everyone was restless ahahaha.

the things we do to survive everyday. hahaha. hope the rest of the year is kinder to us. for now, i shall go back to sleep. hahahahaha.

you see I've waited all my life...

after 4 months, a skin biopsy, a new immunologic disease , failed exams, and everyday challenges....I am back. with much less energy and a lot of repressed and HG aka hidden galit.... with the system, with poverty, with the  heat. I feel like I developed progeria and have immaturely turned into a prune. which sucks because just when I am where I thought I wanted to be....I transform into this prune-y person who is nega all the time. I miss my AHAHAHAHAHAs.

maybe it's just the heat.

maybe I just need to go to the beach and reevaluate. need happy sunshine soon.

try me!

tomorrow marks our first month into residency...funny how it feels like we've been here a long time when in fact....30 days palang pala....pero sa pakiramdam parang 30 years. hahahaha.

in the past 30 days, para akong rumollercoaster sa dami ng emosyong nadaanan....masaya, malungkot, takot, kaba, kabaliwan. madalas gusto ko nalang sumigaw. maraming beses pinipigil kong umiyak. sa umaga lagi akong nasusuka. kapag duty ako parang lagi akong kinakabahan. walang araw na hindi ako nagdadasal ng saklolo. pero pagdating ng gabi at natapos ko ang araw lagi naman akong natutuwa....na andito ako.

i feel so crazy with this constant fluctuation of emotions. so many things to do. so many things to think about. so many things to study. then I remember that this is the road I chose...mula sa maraming maraming ibang road na mukhang magaganda....and so after each kalugmukan I stand up on shaky legs and take that step....with a looooooot of help from my friends and from the guy up there.

to the next 12 months.....BRING IT ON!

ctrl. alt.delete.

was s/p trolling around the pay floors writing and writing like there's no tomorrow. when suddenly had to update the Olympians regarding the status of his patient. was post duty with a lot of admissions and referrals. start ako ng text Good am ____ Informing you regarding _____ pt currently signed a ......*brain not functioning...ano nga ba ang tawag sa nilalagdaan na magbabayad ka naman in English*

so I ran to the oasis aka callroom  at napabulalas ako ng...

BOTD: guys!....ano nga ba ang spelling ng promissory note? double M?

Chicken Charlie: Double S! diba promis-sory! double S!

Yanyan Meiji Choco Sticks: Hindi!  Double M!

Pa-VirJ: ndi ba double S?

BOTD: Hindi ba double R????

ALL: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

sheeeeesh. double frickin R! ahahaha. my mind really does shut down in times of extreme stress. lately, I am in a new environment. kung dati ay nasa shore with the dagat ng basura ay ngayon nasa may bundok with the ulap ulap effect...I guess this rotation was highly endorsed as a scary rotation and so I find myself most of the time paralyzed with fear to the point of shutdown. actually mula sa simula ganun na ata ang nangyayari sa akin pagka hindi ko alam ang gagawin. *must work hard to make myself get rid of this!*

pero ika nga nila...baby steps. one step at a time. simula pa lang naman. don't be too hard on yourself ang theme. pero kelangan wag masyadong umabot ang stress to the point of....amnesia! ahahahaha.

excited for moooore learning and less overthinking! and for more katatawanan blogworthy experiences. hehehehehehehe.